“I’m No Lady; I’m a Member of Congress.”
attributed to Jeannette Rankin, the first woman elected to Congress
WHERE DID IT ALL GO?
The commonly accepted definition of "national debt", is the amount of money owed by the federal government of the United States to holders of U.S. debt instruments. This is not to be confused with the Deficit, which is a horse of an entirely different color.
The National Debt includes debt held by states, corporations, individuals OF ANY NATIONALITY, and foreign governments, as well as our own home grown American citizens. It does NOT include the debt held in the Social Security Trust Fund.
The Times Square National Debt Clock has been reporting the level of federal debt since 1989. This obligation stands at $11,342,734,351,973.14 as of June 18, 2009.
As a point of interest, the Nineteenth Amendment, which prohibits each of the states and the federal government from denying any citizen the right to vote because of that citizen's sex, was ratified on August 18, 1920. At that time our national debt stood at $24.3 billion. There was one woman in Congress.
Today, with 91 women in Congress, our national debt has increased to well over $11 trillion.
Does this tell you anything?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
White House Tours I
Thank you for your interest in visiting the White House. After a lengthy terror-induced hiatus, White House Walking Tours have resumed. All tours must be specially scheduled and prepaid in advance. See below for the Revised 2006-2007 White House Tour Fee Schedule*.
U.S. Citizens
Children $399.99
(Children cost the US Government more than any other single group. It is only fair that they give something back to their benefactors.)
Seniors $299.99
(Seniors cost the US Government the second most of the 3 groups. Recognizing their long and loyal service to the US Government, George wishes to extend a $100.00 non-transferable discount to members of this group.)
Unemployed Adults $199.99
Employed Adults $195.99
(Unemployed bums cost the Treasury $$$ while employed workers contribute to the upkeep of patriotic politicians at all levels.)
All Non-U.S. Citizens $799.99
(The slight increase in fees for his group of pinko-terrorist foreigners reflects the additional security costs needed to monitor their activities while in Georgie's home.)
* Please note that all proceeds from increased ticket revenue are promptly reallocated to the Republican National Committee's Eternal Reign Fund.
NOTE:
This is obviously a spoof. White House Tours are free and Georgie would never extend a discount to any group.
Public tours of the White House are available for groups of 10 or more people. Requests must be submitted through one's Member of Congress and are accepted up to six months in advance. To contact your Representative and Senators, please call the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at this number (202) 224-3121. These self-guided tours are available from 7:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. Tuesday through Thursday, 7:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Fridays, and 7:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Saturdays (excluding federal holidays).
All guests 14 years of age or older are required by the United States Secret Service to submit their name, date of birth, social security number and country of citizenship to the requesting office. Attendees under the age of 14 only need to submit their name and date of birth. This security information must be received by the office through which tickets are obtained no later than five business days prior to the tour date. Groups without security information will be cancelled.
If you would like to tour President's Park (the White House) further information is available at http://www.nps.gov/whho/planyourvisit/white-house-tours.htm
U.S. Citizens
Children $399.99
(Children cost the US Government more than any other single group. It is only fair that they give something back to their benefactors.)
Seniors $299.99
(Seniors cost the US Government the second most of the 3 groups. Recognizing their long and loyal service to the US Government, George wishes to extend a $100.00 non-transferable discount to members of this group.)
Unemployed Adults $199.99
Employed Adults $195.99
(Unemployed bums cost the Treasury $$$ while employed workers contribute to the upkeep of patriotic politicians at all levels.)
All Non-U.S. Citizens $799.99
(The slight increase in fees for his group of pinko-terrorist foreigners reflects the additional security costs needed to monitor their activities while in Georgie's home.)
* Please note that all proceeds from increased ticket revenue are promptly reallocated to the Republican National Committee's Eternal Reign Fund.
NOTE:
This is obviously a spoof. White House Tours are free and Georgie would never extend a discount to any group.
Public tours of the White House are available for groups of 10 or more people. Requests must be submitted through one's Member of Congress and are accepted up to six months in advance. To contact your Representative and Senators, please call the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at this number (202) 224-3121. These self-guided tours are available from 7:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. Tuesday through Thursday, 7:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Fridays, and 7:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Saturdays (excluding federal holidays).
All guests 14 years of age or older are required by the United States Secret Service to submit their name, date of birth, social security number and country of citizenship to the requesting office. Attendees under the age of 14 only need to submit their name and date of birth. This security information must be received by the office through which tickets are obtained no later than five business days prior to the tour date. Groups without security information will be cancelled.
If you would like to tour President's Park (the White House) further information is available at http://www.nps.gov/whho/planyourvisit/white-house-tours.htm
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Taxpayers Invest in Horses' Ass Derivatives
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a Specification/ Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah . The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything....and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else!!
FYI
For those who are interested, one standard gauge US railroad will cost taxpayers $1.49 billion in federal subsidies if AMTRAK's budget is, in fact, funded. Since the $787 billion stimulus package recently signed by President Obama includes a separate $8 billion fund for high-speed rail lines around the country, it appears that the funding is assured.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a Specification/ Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah . The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything....and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else!!
FYI
For those who are interested, one standard gauge US railroad will cost taxpayers $1.49 billion in federal subsidies if AMTRAK's budget is, in fact, funded. Since the $787 billion stimulus package recently signed by President Obama includes a separate $8 billion fund for high-speed rail lines around the country, it appears that the funding is assured.
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