White House Tours I

Thank you for your interest in visiting the White House. After a lengthy terror-induced hiatus, White House Walking Tours have resumed. All tours must be specially scheduled and prepaid in advance. See below for the Revised 2006-2007 White House Tour Fee Schedule*.

U.S. Citizens
Children $399.99
(Children cost the US Government more than any other single group. It is only fair that they give something back to their benefactors.)

Seniors $299.99
(Seniors cost the US Government the second most of the 3 groups. Recognizing their long and loyal service to the US Government, George wishes to extend a $100.00 non-transferable discount to members of this group.)

Unemployed Adults $199.99
Employed Adults $195.99
(Unemployed bums cost the Treasury $$$ while employed workers contribute to the upkeep of patriotic politicians at all levels.)

All Non-U.S. Citizens $799.99
(The slight increase in fees for his group of pinko-terrorist foreigners reflects the additional security costs needed to monitor their activities while in Georgie's home.)

* Please note that all proceeds from increased ticket revenue are promptly reallocated to the Republican National Committee's Eternal Reign Fund.

NOTE:
This is obviously a spoof. White House Tours are free and Georgie would never extend a discount to any group.

Public tours of the White House are available for groups of 10 or more people. Requests must be submitted through one's Member of Congress and are accepted up to six months in advance. To contact your Representative and Senators, please call the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at this number (202) 224-3121. These self-guided tours are available from 7:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. Tuesday through Thursday, 7:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Fridays, and 7:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Saturdays (excluding federal holidays).

All guests 14 years of age or older are required by the United States Secret Service to submit their name, date of birth, social security number and country of citizenship to the requesting office. Attendees under the age of 14 only need to submit their name and date of birth. This security information must be received by the office through which tickets are obtained no later than five business days prior to the tour date. Groups without security information will be cancelled.

If you would like to tour President's Park (the White House) further information is available at http://www.nps.gov/whho/planyourvisit/white-house-tours.htm