FAMILY FIRST

BATTLE OF THE SEXES: SCORE 5,5,5

HE SEZzzzz

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

"Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

SHE SEZzzzz

When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

MENtal anxiety! MENstrual cramps! MENopause! Don't you notice that all our problems begin with MEN!

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright.

A man is like a fine wine. He starts out raw as grapes and it's a woman's job to stomp on him and keep him in the dark until he matures into something she'd like to have dinner with.

Adam was a rough draft.

THE KIDS SAY

Stay away from prunes.

Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving.

Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do.

Never try to baptize a cat.

Never spit when on a roller coaster.

GOVERNMENT POLICY - PROTECT THE FAMILY
"POSTVILLE, Iowa -- Antonio Escobedo ran to get his wife Monday when he saw a helicopter circling overhead and immigration agents approaching the meatpacking plant where they both work. The couple hid for hours inside the plant…

"I like my job. I like my work. I like it here in Iowa," said Escobedo, 38, an illegal immigrant from Yescas, Mexico, who has raised his three children for 11 years in Postville…

Monday's raid on the Agriprocessors plant, in which 389 immigrants were arrested and many held at a cattle exhibit hall, was the Bush administration's largest crackdown on illegal workers at a single site… Half of the school system's 600 students were absent Tuesday, including 90 percent of Hispanic children, because their parents were arrested or in hiding.

"They don't go after employers. They don't put CEOs in jail," complained the Postville Community Schools superintendent, David Strudthoff, 51, who said the sudden incarceration of more than 10 percent of the town's population of 2,300 "is like a natural disaster -- only this one is manmade."

Washington Post, "Immigration Raid Jars a Small Town", Spencer S. Hsu, May 18, 2008
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/17/AR2008051702474_pf.html

The United States has been hosting migrant workers since before 1776. Why the uproar now? Is the current persecution of "illegal immigrants" an attempt to intimidate certain potential voters? Or is it a knee-jerk reaction to a NAFTA orchestrated migrant invasion?

Or was the Escobedo Family busted because Iowa hasn't elected a woman to Congress or to the governorship?

Or was it because half of the school system's 600 students were absent Tuesday and government pays schools hard cash based on headcount, not results?

Or was it because, as in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints child abuse case, government pays lip service to family values as it quietly feeds the monster that has become Child Protective Services?

Or Was it…

Or Was it…

2q(Jim)

BARTERING FOR A FAMILY
After a few weeks of Adam being by himself in the garden of Eden, he got lonely. So he went to God and asked for a companion.

God said he would look into it and get back to him the next day.

So the next day God went to Adam and said, "Here Adam, I can make a beautiful woman that cooks, irons, cleans, never complains and is pretty much just what you want, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg. What do you think?"

Adam thought for a few seconds and then asked "What can I get for a rib?"






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