THE SOMETHING-OR-ANOTHER TAX

"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." - Lily Tomlin

Lawyer on Vacation

A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.
Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

• "Imagine the appeals and dissents if lawyers had written the ten Commandments." - Harry Bender


• "The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing." - Will Rogers


• "Lawyers should never marry other lawyers. This is called "inbreeding," from which comes idiot children and more lawyers." - Kip Lurie: Adam's Rib (1949)
  
• "Judge - A law student who marks his own examination papers."
  - H.L. Hencken
  

Convincing Some People - with a 60 cent a pack hammer
April 26, 2002

"Phoenix - The head of the Senate Health Committee is launching her own ballot measure today to double the state's tobacco tax - putting her at odds with an initiative drive by state health groups.
Sen Sue Gerard, R-Phoenix, says she supports the goal… to boost the levy by 60 cents a pack, to $1.18 a pack. She said that achieves a key goal of convincing some people that smoking is too expensive a habit to maintain.
Gerard said, though, the initiative sponsors are wrong to funnel the $140 million that will be raised solely into research and prevention of the four leading causes of death by disease.
She said the state can't even afford to pay for the programs that are supposed to be funded by the current 58 cent a pack levy… Gerard wants most of the money to go toward funding Proposition 204, approved by voters two years ago…" - Daily News-Sun, Friday, April 26, 2002

If I interpret this correctly, Arizona politicians lied to the public.

In 2000, they assured us that they could do something-or-another if only voters would approve a 58-cent a pack tax on cigarettes. In 2002, the politicians wanted to (and did) raise the tax to $1.18 a pack because they couldn't do the something-or-another they said they could do for 58 cents a pack, but for a mere 60 cents a pack more, they have this spiffy new something-or-another to spend our money on.

Something-or-another just doesn't sound right to me, but I'm sure that when it is time to pay for it, Arizona politicians will invent another new tax to pay for the occasion. - 2q(Jim)

Update 2008 - For the record, Arizona's cigarette tax is now $2.00 per pack! I don't know which new something-or-another we are working on now. - 2q(Jim)

It 'Taint Your Fault
WASHINGTON - Scientists have pinpointed genetic variations that make people more likely to get hooked on cigarettes and more prone to develop lung cancer — a finding that could someday lead to screening tests and customized treatments for smokers trying to kick the habit.

The discovery by three separate teams of scientists makes the strongest case so far for the biological underpinnings of nicotine addiction and sheds more light on how genetics and lifestyle habits join forces to cause cancer.

- SETH Borenstein, AP Science Writer - Wed Apr 2, 2:48 PM PDT

Gee, does that mean that all these cigarette taxes boil down to genetic discrimination? Seems to me I read somewhere that Congress recently passed a law against discriminating on the basis of genetic makeup! Will smokers be entitled to a tax refund for taxes improperly collected? - 2q(Jim)

Economic Redistribution

"Automobiles are a mixed blessing. On the one hand, they provide us with lots of
benefits that were undreamed-of in the 'horse-and-buggy' days. For example, any
time we get hungry, we can simply hop into the car, pull up to the drive-through
window of a fast food restaurant, purchase a tasty hot meal, spill our coffee on
our thighs, and sue a major corporation for millions of dollars." - Dave Barry via Lynn, El Mirage, AZ

• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
  - Henny Youngman


• Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them. - Paul Valery


• Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone Else's can shorten it. - Cullen Hightower


• You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. - George Burns
  
• "The minute you read something and you can't understand it,
  you can be sure it was written by a lawyer. Then, if you give it to another lawyer to read and he don't know just what it means, then you can be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. If its in a few words and is plain, and understandable only one way, it was written by a non-lawyer." - Will Rogers

Jumpin' to Conclusions

How did Chicago get the name the "Windy City"? I'll bet you thought the name had something to do with weather, didn't you? Wrong!

• New York editor Charles Anderson Dana nicknamed Chicago "the Windy City" " given how heartily its leading men had boasted that Chicago would prevail [in securing the World's Colombian Exposition of 1893] - Devil in the White City, p 14