STRICT LAW ENFORCEMENT

"I don't care what anyone says, you can not accuse George W. Bush of any sex scandals - unless, of course, you count the time he inappropriately touched the Queen of England." - 2q(Jim)

IT'S IMPORTANT AT OUR AGE

Working people frequently ask retired folks what they do to make their days interesting. I went to the store the other day. I was in there for only about five minutes. When I came out there was a city cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a name. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a worse name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner and this one had a "Kerry-Edwards" bumper sticker on it.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.

It's important at our age.

LAWS OF OUR LAND

California - Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Michigan - A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Wyoming - It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.

South Carolina - It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
(Is this where the phrase "Never on Sunday" came from? 2q(Jim))

SPEND-TO-GET LAW ENFORCEMENT

BRIGHTON, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan doctor is getting a laugh out of a 51-cent property tax bill. It isn’t just that Phil Kazanji’s bill is so low. It’s that it cost the city of Brighton $5.21 to send it to him by certified mail. Kazanji says he first thought the amount was a mistake. Now he calls the whole thing “the most ridiculous thing a government agency would do.”

City finance director Dave Gajda says Kazanji paid $158 on a bill for $158.48. The city penalized him 3 cents and sent him the new tab. Gajda says Brighton doesn’t have the authority to waive a portion of taxes.

Kazanji says he’ll write out a check for 51 cents and drop it off.

AP via The World, Coos Bay, Oregon, Sunday, May 18, 2008

Personally, I'm glad to see that Mr. Kazanji used the word "would" instead of "could". I doubt that Michigan residents want to see a "most ridiculous thing a government Could do" competition heat-up among state employees. - 2q(Jim)

GRASS ROOTS PHILOSOPHY

"Laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him." - Benjamin Franklin

"Committee-a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours." - Milton Berle

"The funny bone is universal." - Bernard Malamud

"When a rogue kisses you, count your teeth." - Hebrew Proverb

"Virtue must shape itself in deed." - Alfred, Lord Tennyson