SUPER GRANNY, DEFENDER OF JUSTICE

"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore" - Ogden Nash

Speaking of O.J. Simpson…

"As it developed, Mr. Saunders Welch, Magistrate of the Hanover Street Court… was engaged in counting money, his collection in fines levied that day.
It was said that near any offense but murder could be settled by means of a fine in the Hanover Street Court; and there were rumors that even an occassional homocide might be forgiven as accidental death with the offer of a fine large enough to suit Mr Welch."
- Bruce Alexander, Watery Grave, p. 251 [the setting is England in the late 1700s]

"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators." - PJ O'Rourke

Super Granny, Defender of Justice

"An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of that car, you scumbags!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of her car and get into the vehicle.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.

A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.

The sargeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

"I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean." - G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)