Grass Roots Philosophy - 5-11-08

THE RULES ARE THE RULES

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.

"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

• "No wise man ever wished to be younger." - Jonathan Swift
• "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
  Arthur C. Clarke (1917-2008)
• "Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship." -Lee Iacocca
• "Against logic there is no armor like ignorance." - Laurence J. Peter
• "The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill." - Peter Ustinov

Great Turning Points In history

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the Old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.' He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot, so the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, Father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was... C E L E B R A T E !"